The night before...

The night before life goes on…I've counted the months, I've counted the weeks, I've counted the Days…I have marked each holiday off of my calendar one by one…and now I am counting the hours.  Less than 22 hours until our life can resume.  Don't get me wrong, we have lived over the past 8 months, but tomorrow I will be able to take a real deep breath, let out a real laugh without guilt or sorrow, and celebrate all of the little things with my best friend.  I will be able to let my guard down.  Share the responsibility of our family with someone who knows my passion for and dedication to them.  I will let myself fall…and I know he will catch me!  I am so ready to look into his eyes and hold his hand.  Even more so, I am ready to see my kids look into their Daddy's eyes and hold his hand and know that Daddy kept his promise…and so did we!!!!  We are right where we left him 8 months ago and he is returning to the spot he promised he would 8 months later.  I am looking forward to riding in the passenger seat and making fun of each other because we think we know the words to the song but we are so wrong, to giving him "the nudge" when Buddy cries to go out or come in for the millionth time in a night, to the way he knows when no one else does…the good, the bad, the scary…he knows!!!!  I am ready to enjoy life with out thinking "I need to tell Leif this" or "I wish Leif was here" or "we need to do this when Leif gets home" or "I need to get this on camera so I can send it to Leif"…There are so many thoughts in this head of mine that hopefully putting them here will put my mind at rest and maybe I will actually sleep tonight!

Oddly enough, I am nervous, emotional, and anxious.  I am the type of person that wants to please others.  I want him to come home and be proud.  Actually I want him to be blown away…bottom line is that I have worked my tail off!  Our house is perfect, our kids are healthy, I started my own business, I ran the household, kept everything on the up and up, I am in great shape, and I have worked tirelessly to make sure nothing suffered…except my sleep!  I want him to know that we served here…100%…we did it for him…we didn't just survive…we THRIVED!!!  I want him to look at me and fall in love all over again…I am so proud of him and I hope he is proud of us.

Our kids are my hero…truly!  they have been so brave.  Easton is only 1 but Aiden has really been so brave and so understanding.  He has done his best to smile when others asked him why he didn't have a Daddy.  He picked me up when I was low and really brought out the best in me!!!  He has been so incredibly patient with me…even when I wasn't so patient with him!  I will go to bed tonight nervous and anxious but I am also very very PROUD!  Proud of my husband FOR SURE but I am proud of US!  Me and my 2 boys.  I really feel like we have just accomplished something…we aren't who Daddy left…we are BETTER!!!  Better for him and better for us.

Aiden and Easton,
We did it!!!  I mean we really did it…we made the most of the past 8 months.  We stared loneliness in the face and showed it who's boss!  We have done more in the past 8 months together than some people do in years.  If anyone doubted our ability to thrive during this challenge, I think we showed them!!!!  I am so proud of you boys and lucky to be your mommy!!!  No one can take this accomplishment away from us!!!

Daddy,
We did it all for YOU!!!!  We love you and are so proud to be serving along with you on the home front!  Thank you for being a stellar example to all of us…Now, come home to us…we are waiting, just like we promised!!!!  We love you more than words!!!

Teresa, (yep I am talking to myself haha)
You did it!!!  You didn't think you could but you did!!!  Tomorrow it will be ok to cry…it will be ok to let go…he will be there to catch you…fall into his arms…you both need it and have earned it!!!

Thank you to everyone for the support, the prayers, and for following along on this journey and counting down with me…now I wait for the hours to turn into minutes and the minutes to turn into seconds!!!!