Over the past few weeks I have received so many really kind and encouraging emails in regards to my blog and our "stories". It really makes me feel good to hear that people actually look forward to my blogs and catches me off guard when I get an email requesting a new one or even more so when I meet a new person and they already know me from following through a friend! I don't write about fashion, or celebrities, or materialistic things...I just write about life...our life. Today my mom was talking about my recent blogs and she began to cry. "Why are you crying about a blog" I asked. Her response really made me think, "they are touching, heartbreaking, inspiring, and sad" she said...SAD??? Certainly not my intention. I get it though...life is all of those things and this is our life!
The stories I tell about us, our life, our experience, and our journey aren't meant to be sad. They are meant to be real. They are for me, for the future, and for my kids (and myself) to one day look back on this time and say "Wow, look how far we've come". But they are also a real glimpse into a life that those who have never lived it, could never really comprehend. There is a part of me that writes for that person who makes the one comment that causes my skin to crawl..."you knew what you were getting into". I have heard this comment so many times that I have just learned to walk away but my hope is that maybe those who truly believe "I knew what I was getting into" when I married a military man, will read our daily experiences and sacrifices and understand that Military life, like any part of life, is filled with so many unexpected, unplanned for, and unbelievable moments. Yes, we chose this lifestyle and I certainly do not want any sympathy for that...but much like I chose this life, I also chose to do so many other things thinking they would be one way when in reality they were another. I could have never known what it would be like to hold my crying 4 year old because Daddy didn't show up on his birthday, or to live with a cell phone in my hand just in case our baby does something monumental that Daddy will not see first hand for over half a year, to plan vacations and pregnancies in the same way... around the needs of the Navy. To eat alone, sleep alone and parent alone day in and day out, desperate for a conversation with your other half because he is the only one who can tell by the sound of your voice that you are not ok. There is not a book, Facebook page, or conversation that could ever tell me what I was getting into...and even if there was, would that prohibit me from ever expressing displeasure. Saying "you knew what you were getting into" to an overwhelmed military spouse is like looking at an exhausted new mother and saying "well, you wanted a baby" ...it's absurd.
Maybe through our experiences people will see a different side to the military family. Maybe they will feel like they have a better insight into the day to day life versus the good looking man in uniform kissing his family pier side because that moment, while so incredibly beautiful, was preceded by a lot of tears, fears, and sacrifices. It was a culmination of so many missed moments, many many months of separation, and a lot of love. I do this because I love my husband, not because I knew what it was going to be like, but because regardless of how hard you tell me it is going to be, I still love him and support him and a tough experience will never change that!
I hope people read because they can relate, or they can learn, or feel inspired, or just to get away from their thoughts. Shoot, feel free to read just to be nosey :-) But know that these experiences, although sometimes difficult, make us who we are and they are real and sometimes hard...they aren't for pity but more for perspective. We are living a life that is sometime touching, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes inspiring and sometimes it's sad but it is always WORTH IT!!!
