Wednesday, May 29, 2013

It takes a village...

Today, and many days, I find myself thinking of some of the small things that I am so incredibly thankful for.   Today, as I spent several hours shopping for all of Leif's deployment supplies, I thought of an expression that I have heard many times..."It takes a village"....for some reason, this expression really hit home!

I thought about the fact that I am only 1 person, sometimes stretching myself to the limits of several!

I thought about everything I accomplished today in a few hours alone while my in-laws played with my babies!


I thought about the girls in my life who constantly tell me that I am strong, superwoman, inspiring, and independent.  Those words often drive me to continue on...especially on the really hard days when I am tired and at the end of my patience.


I thought about the offers to help from so many people around me...the people who are willing to have me over, run to the store, play with my kids or even mow my grass.  The people who would give up a little family time, so that I am not alone.

I thought about the people who realize that every so often I need me time...not time to go party, drink or be selfish...but time to sit and stare at the wall, mop my floors, fold my laundry or shower in peace!

I thought about how sometimes. regardless of how stubborn I may be, I need help!  Standing in the attic today going through old baby clothes, I was reminded that without that person at the bottom of the ladder, I would not be able to get the boxes out of the attic...I simply needed help!

I thought about my family, although small, they will NOT let me fail.


I thought about all of the holidays that Leif is going to miss...and how I just "want to stay busy" and how hard that is going to be when everyone else is consumed with the hustle and bustle of halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years and I am just counting down the seconds until Daddy comes home.

I thought about the people who watch out for Aiden while I tend to Easton and those who listen for Easton while I tend to Aiden.

I thought about my in-laws offer to watch the boys while Leif and I have a dinner alone...they will be missing their son for almost a year but they respect the significance of the boys missing daddy and the depth of my being with out my partner for so long.

In all of this thought, I realized that throughout this "season" of our life we are truly experiencing how it "takes a village" to raise a family.  Even when I feel alone...I am not!  There are so many people on my side...looking out for me, looking out for my boys, and making sure that we succeed!

So, as I was immersed in 10 months worth of coffee, deodorant, tooth paste, shaving cream, razors, soap and shampoo...I KNOW that despite the fear, sadness, apprehension and stress that we are about to embark on..AGAIN, I am not alone!  I know, even in the bad times, that I have my village behind me and for that I am thankful!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Running partner...


It looks like I have a new running partner. Before my run today Aiden asked if he could run with me.  I told him that I would run halfway with him and Easton in the stroller and then he could run with me for the last half!  This boy doesn't forget anything!  On the way back he jumped out of the stroller and took off...

He turns around to me and says "I'll meet you at the house mommy" HA!  He did great until he saw the ice cream man...he hopped back in the stroller and kept saying "faster mommy faster".  It didn't help that when I got home I realized Aiden had filled the undercarriage of the stroller with broken up concrete blocks from the construction site on our street...apparently he thinks 2 kids in a double jogging stroller isn't enough!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful Mommies out there!  I am so incredibly blessed to be the mommy to these 2 amazing boys...

BUT here is the truth about my Mother's Day....
I woke up this morning with a chip on my shoulder and a really bad attitude.  Yesterday was rough!  Leif is out to sea and Aiden was really missing his daddy which resulted in a very long day of clinging to my leg and lots of crying.  By the end of the night I was at the end of my rope.  After hearing Aiden beg for Daddy and me telling him that I wanted Daddy too, I sat down and had a pity party.  I was convinced that Mother's Day was going to be awful before it even began which is not my normal personality.  I even sent Leif an email about how awful it was going to be.  My biggest mistake was letting my mind get ahead of the times.  I began to think about everything that Leif is going to miss.  He will be gone for the majority of the next 2 months and then he will deploy for 8-10 months.  I let myself think about him missing Mother's Day, Father's Day, Labor day, our wedding anniversary, Aiden's birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's and possibly Easton's 1st Birthday...not to mention all of Easton's major milestones and the everyday events that happen with 2 kids.  Essentially, I let something that I can not control take control of my happiness and my emotions.  I had let myself be defeated and I was just fine with being a brat about it and letting it ruin my day.
Luckily, around 10 am I had a thought....not a good thought but a thought that whipped my whiney butt into shape.  I thought about a very sad but wise comment that Aiden made the last time Leif was gone.  He said "Mommy, when Daddy comes home are you going to be happy again".  The thought of that comment still puts a lump in my throat but it was that memory that changed my day!  I was spending too much time focusing on what I didn't have rather than what I did have.  I had selfishly overlooked what Mother's Day is about...being a Mom to my kids!  I decided to turn our day around and make it the greatest day ever.  No, I wasn't pampered.  I grilled my own lunch and ordered out dinner.  I had to do the dishes myself, change every diaper, fold 2 loads of laundry, and be mommy and daddy to 2 kids who are both needy in their own way.  But it was such a wonderful day....

We took silly pictures in the mirror and emailed them to Daddy...



We took a walk and fed the baby Geese...

We played soccer, went to the park, cleaned out my truck, and enjoyed the sunshine...


We had a water "squirter" fight with some of our buddies in the neighborhood...


Opened a sweet card that Daddy had hid for me to find in a drawer...


And Mommy learned a very valuable lesson, one that I have preached to others many times.  I am in control of my own happiness.  Today I made a choice when I woke up...I was going to hate the day!  Luckily, the good Lord snapped me out of it and I was able to find the good in the day and boy was it a good day!  I had let myself get lost in the fact that I would spend Mother's Day "alone" with out my husband or my mom while I knew other families were getting together and having fun.  I never want to be the type of Mommy that is "do as I say not as I do"...I want Aiden and Easton to know that even when things aren't ideal, even when we are sad or lonely, we can still perservere!  We can always find happiness...even in a yucky situation.  We missed Daddy today, and everyday, but I can honestly say that we made the best of today!!!  This next year is going to be harder than anything we have ever done.  My hope is that the next time I start planning a pity party someone pops my balloons really quickly.  I have so much to be thankful for and really no time to waste being selfish....

THIS is my reason to smile!

And this too