BUT here is the truth about my Mother's Day....
I woke up this morning with a chip on my shoulder and a really bad attitude. Yesterday was rough! Leif is out to sea and Aiden was really missing his daddy which resulted in a very long day of clinging to my leg and lots of crying. By the end of the night I was at the end of my rope. After hearing Aiden beg for Daddy and me telling him that I wanted Daddy too, I sat down and had a pity party. I was convinced that Mother's Day was going to be awful before it even began which is not my normal personality. I even sent Leif an email about how awful it was going to be. My biggest mistake was letting my mind get ahead of the times. I began to think about everything that Leif is going to miss. He will be gone for the majority of the next 2 months and then he will deploy for 8-10 months. I let myself think about him missing Mother's Day, Father's Day, Labor day, our wedding anniversary, Aiden's birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's and possibly Easton's 1st Birthday...not to mention all of Easton's major milestones and the everyday events that happen with 2 kids. Essentially, I let something that I can not control take control of my happiness and my emotions. I had let myself be defeated and I was just fine with being a brat about it and letting it ruin my day.
Luckily, around 10 am I had a thought....not a good thought but a thought that whipped my whiney butt into shape. I thought about a very sad but wise comment that Aiden made the last time Leif was gone. He said "Mommy, when Daddy comes home are you going to be happy again". The thought of that comment still puts a lump in my throat but it was that memory that changed my day! I was spending too much time focusing on what I didn't have rather than what I did have. I had selfishly overlooked what Mother's Day is about...being a Mom to my kids! I decided to turn our day around and make it the greatest day ever. No, I wasn't pampered. I grilled my own lunch and ordered out dinner. I had to do the dishes myself, change every diaper, fold 2 loads of laundry, and be mommy and daddy to 2 kids who are both needy in their own way. But it was such a wonderful day....
We took silly pictures in the mirror and emailed them to Daddy...
We took a walk and fed the baby Geese...
We played soccer, went to the park, cleaned out my truck, and enjoyed the sunshine...
We had a water "squirter" fight with some of our buddies in the neighborhood...
Opened a sweet card that Daddy had hid for me to find in a drawer...
And Mommy learned a very valuable lesson, one that I have preached to others many times. I am in control of my own happiness. Today I made a choice when I woke up...I was going to hate the day! Luckily, the good Lord snapped me out of it and I was able to find the good in the day and boy was it a good day! I had let myself get lost in the fact that I would spend Mother's Day "alone" with out my husband or my mom while I knew other families were getting together and having fun. I never want to be the type of Mommy that is "do as I say not as I do"...I want Aiden and Easton to know that even when things aren't ideal, even when we are sad or lonely, we can still perservere! We can always find happiness...even in a yucky situation. We missed Daddy today, and everyday, but I can honestly say that we made the best of today!!! This next year is going to be harder than anything we have ever done. My hope is that the next time I start planning a pity party someone pops my balloons really quickly. I have so much to be thankful for and really no time to waste being selfish....
THIS is my reason to smile!
And this too
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