After telling a few people about my day, I was told that I needed to write a blog about it. Here is a warning...if you have a weak stomach, don't like bathroom talk, or lack a sense of humor...go ahead and move on :-) This is not the story for you! I have to document this because let's be real...THIS is the real stuff that you don't see on "reality TV" rather it is more like something you see on a comedy...a very dark comedy!
Today was a poopy day. No joking...dirty, nasty, uncontrollable poopy day! Not for me but for my incredibly sneaky, incredibly smart, and now incredibly cleared out 4 year old. Let's just say that after telling Aiden for years that he can only have the recommended dose on the vitamin label, I think he now knows why! While I was nursing Easton, Aiden managed to climb onto the counter, get into the cabinets and open the CHILD LOCK on his Mickey Mouse Vitamins...recommended dose is 2...He ate about 10. I really need to work on nursing and walking because sitting is not an option in this household. No worries, I called poison control and they said he would be fine but let me tell you, all was not OK in our world today!
Aiden waddles into my room..."Mommy, I pooped my pants" WHAT?????? I will spare you most of the details. Let's just say mudpie...GAG! Clean him up....15 minutes later "MOMMY (he screams from the other room) something just happened in my underwear" Something?????? Oh it was something..."What is going on Aiden?"..."Those vitamins made my tummy grumble"...OH CRAP (literally) the vitamins...the fiber enhanced vitamins to be exact. I lost count at underroos number 5...that is until I didn't put unders on him...we were upstairs putting away laundry and A says "I have to go and can't walk" I grabbed him and ran as fast as I could...as soon as I hit the bathroom it was on like donkey kong...projectile, spraying, awful, smelly nastiness....it was like something you would see on a prank show...it was everywhere and Aiden was terrified. "I am so so so so sorry Mommy"...all I could do was laugh...in the words of my sister "just laugh so that you don't cry". Our next explosion was on the porch in front of our lawn guy complete with loud stomach gurgling, choo choo train gas, a few questionable glances from our landscaper, and BOOM..."Mommy, my pants are wet"..."yes, this is my life...proceed with lawn service please". That poor poor poor man! Our neighbors were also privy to the noises my childs bowels made...Not only did he scream down the stairs to me "Mommy I exploded again" but he also released a few surprising sounds effects to which my neighbor Brian said"Woah, are you ok?" "Yep" Aiden says "nothing came out that time" (now that's what I call perspective and positive thinking).
It was just one of those days where you just have to think to yourself...did that just happen? And that? And that too? YEP...it did! PHEW...what a crappy day!!!
Just to provide myself with a little perspective...today is Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness day. There was a time when I had literally lost hope and would have killed to be up to my elbows in everything parenthood (just not diarrhea)...so I will take a tough day "on the job rather than the alternative...ANY DAY!!!