Kindness and generosity

Kindness and generosity are alive and well y'all.  Seriously, there are amazing people in this world if you just open your eyes to it and let go of the cynicism.  Over the past 3 weeks of the hubby being home we have been placed in front of some truly giving, grateful, and generous people!  Case and point...

Saturday we were having lunch at California pizza kitchen together, just the hubby, boys, and I (family time I have been craving).  We are enjoying our appetizer, helping Aiden practice his writing, chit chatting about nothing and everything all at the same time.  We were keeping to ourselves in the back of the restaurant, the kids were behaving :-), when an older gentleman approaches us and complements us on our beautiful family.  He starts asking us questions about our family and then asks Leif if he is in the service.  He thanks Leif for his service, he thanks me for mine which he pointed out was much harder than being the actual service member.  Super kind, right?  He then proceeds to tell us about his service, his family, and then says "well I won't keep you any longer but order whatever you want because I have taken care of your bill". What????  Leif of course tries to thank him but tell him that's not necessary and the man would hear nothing of it.  Leif stands to shake the mans hand and the guy reaches over and gives him a giant hug.  As he pulls away both Leif and I notice that his eyes are filled with tears...we are both in shock.  As he walks away he says to Leif "thank you for your service, I know it's a tough job but I appreciate it". He turns to me and says " your job is tougher than his.  Thank you for your service".

We both just couldn't believe it and we're incredibly shocked yet very appreciative.  Leif then says "should I buy him a drink?  I feel bad, that was so nice". I told him the best thing we could do was pay it forward.  

Our conversation then drifted to the serious generational gap that we face.  Past generations had such a pride in their service and society treated the military with respect and as if their job was important.  I told Leif that the past generations of veterans are so passionate about what they did and they carry that pride with them everyday.  Nowadays our civilian population has adopted the "you knew what you were getting into so why should I care attitude".  It's a shame...some members of our own family have that mentality.  I could say it and have said it a million times over...it is a lifestyle...not a job!  If those who serve didn't, then who would?  I'll go ahead and answer that question...you would!  You would be drafted, your loved ones would be drafted...sounds like the people I want defending my freedom.  The older generation just gets it...they know the sacrifice and appreciate those who answer the call.  

We didn't know this man and he didn't know us...for all I know he could be living pay check to pay check or in his eyes so could we.  It wasn't about the money, it was the principle and the gesture.  It's about showing appreciation for a tough job, for a sacrifice, and for a shared bond between 2 men, generations apart, still both fighting the good fight.

Some days I feel like I have more pride for what Leif does than he does for himself.  He is a humble man and although he would never toot his own horn, he has experienced great success and is one hell of a human being.  He's an example to me and I know to many others who have encountered him.  But my hope is that this gesture inspires him to see the greatness of this world and the pride that people, not enough of them,  have for his service and the service of others.  It's not just about him, it's not just about the job, not just about a free meal... It's about  gratitude and appreciation!  It's about kindness and generosity!  Share it!!!  Let's not be so selfish and cynical.  I don't care if it is the lady at 7-11 or the man or woman in uniform...let's spread kindness, people!  I can tell you from experience that it feels good to be on the unexpected receiving end of it and even better to share it with someone who least expects it.  We plan to pay it forward as often as possible and so should you.

Thoughts...

Over the past few weeks I have received so many really kind and encouraging emails in regards to my blog and our "stories".   It really makes me feel good to hear that people actually look forward to my blogs and catches me off guard when I get an email requesting a new one or even more so when I meet a new person and they already know me from following through a friend!  I don't write about fashion, or celebrities, or materialistic things...I just write about life...our life.  Today my mom was talking about my recent blogs and she began to cry.  "Why are you crying about a blog" I asked.  Her response really made me think, "they are touching, heartbreaking, inspiring, and sad" she said...SAD???  Certainly not my intention.  I get it though...life is all of those things and this is our life!

The stories I tell about us, our life, our experience, and our journey aren't meant to be sad.  They are meant to be real.  They are for me, for the future, and for my kids (and myself) to one day look back on this time and say "Wow, look how far we've come".  But they are also a real glimpse into a life that those who have never lived it, could never really comprehend.  There is a part of me that writes for that person who makes the one comment that causes my skin to crawl..."you knew what you were getting into".  I have heard this comment so many times that I have just learned to walk away but my hope is that maybe those who truly believe "I knew what I was getting into" when I married a military man, will read our daily experiences and sacrifices and understand that Military life, like any part of life, is filled with so many unexpected, unplanned for, and unbelievable moments.  Yes, we chose this lifestyle and I certainly do not want any sympathy for that...but much like I chose this life, I also chose to do so many other things thinking they would be one way when in reality they were another.  I could have never known what it would be like to hold my crying 4 year old because Daddy didn't show up on his birthday, or to live with a cell phone in my hand just in case our baby does something monumental that Daddy will not see first hand for over half a year,  to plan vacations and pregnancies in the same way... around the needs of the Navy.  To eat alone, sleep alone and parent alone day in and day out, desperate for a conversation with your other half because he is the only one who can tell by the sound of your voice that you are not ok.  There is not a book, Facebook page, or conversation that could ever tell me what I was getting into...and even if there was, would that prohibit me from ever expressing displeasure.  Saying "you knew what you were getting into" to an overwhelmed military spouse is like looking at an exhausted new mother and saying "well, you wanted a baby" ...it's absurd.

Maybe through our experiences people will see a different side to the military family.  Maybe they will feel like they have a better insight into the day to day life versus the good looking man in uniform kissing his family pier side because that moment, while so incredibly beautiful, was preceded by a lot of tears, fears, and sacrifices.  It was a culmination of so many missed moments, many many months of separation, and a lot of love.  I do this because I love my husband, not because I knew what it was going to be like, but because regardless of how hard you tell me it is going to be, I still love him and support him and a tough experience will never change that!

I hope people read because they can relate, or they can learn, or feel inspired, or just to get away from their thoughts.  Shoot, feel free to read just to be nosey :-)  But know that these experiences, although sometimes difficult, make us who we are and they are real and sometimes hard...they aren't for pity but more for perspective.  We are living a life that is sometime touching, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes inspiring and sometimes it's sad but it is always WORTH IT!!!

Just Aiden and Daddy...a world apart!

This morning we had an unexpected early phone call from Daddy.  Since he told me this information over the phone I assume I can go ahead and say it...he was in Saudi Arabia for an in-port exercise with the Saudi's.  This isn't a fun liberty port so he won't be able to go sightseeing, Skype or do anything at his own leisure.  However, he will get to leave the ship for a few socials at the consulate.

As usual, I let Aiden have the phone so that he could talk to daddy.  Normally he either holds the phone and talks or he paces the floor as he tries to re-tell stories and "show" daddy things!  This morning was a little different.  Aiden grabbed the phone from me, climbed up in the bed, got under the covers and snuggled the phone.  I couldn't help but feel sad for him.  He misses his Daddy, we all miss him, but he just doesn't really know how to grasp his absence.  He has verbalized his desire for Daddy to come home but I never really realized that he was probably missing Daddy snuggles and just Daddy and Aiden time.  When he was home at a reasonable hour, Daddy always put Aiden to bed.  I could hear them in the other room just talking (like they were best friends), laughing, reading books and saying prayers...Aiden obviously misses that and although it may not be the same, this morning with Daddy on the other side of the world, Aiden found a way to give himself what he was needing...a little "Daddy and Aiden" time...snuggles and all!!!

Tugging on the heartstrings...

As we approach deployment in just a matter days I find myself struggling with so many different emotions.  I find myself trying to prepare and analyze every little thing when the reality is, I might as well just throw a deck of cards into the air and see what lands where! Regardless of how much I prepare for this, one thing is for sure...my heart is not ready...and never will be!

Tonight at bedtime Aiden wanted me to put him down.  I explained to him that Daddy wanted to do it because he wasn't going to see him for a long time.  After trying to explain to him the concept of a year and months and distance and why we wouldn't be able to see daddy and why he can't just come home, Aiden said this..."mommy, when daddy is gone I don't think that I can talk about him". My response: "why". His:  "well because I know I will miss him too much so maybe I can just dream about him"...BROKE. MY. HEART!!!

We will dream about him, talk about him, think about him, and plan for his return!!! With each card I am dealt, I will figure it out!  But for tonight...he changed his mind and Daddy to put him to bed!

Thoughts on Friday!

There is so much going on in our lives right now.  So many things that I never want to forget and a few storms that I can not wait to pass!  Life isn't perfect but the good always out weighs the not so good!

While Leif was out for June, the boys and I took a little get away to see some friends and family.  It was the first time all of my friends met Easton and it was so nice of them to all make such an amazing effort to come meet our "little" guy!

I was able to attend my niece Kassidy's award ceremony where she received the top award...the words of her teacher left us all in tears....she is such an amazing young lady!

I was able to spend the day with my 2 favorite girls...there is nothing like playing with your cousins...I am thankful that my family feels the same way...we may not always see eye to eye but we are mature enough to look past our differences for the sake of our children!

The friendships I have are so amazing...My girl Christy and I have been friends since we were 8 years old.  Time and distance have been no match for our friendship!  I was so glad that I could attend her 30th birthday!  Given the chance, I would do anything for my real friends!!!

I took this picture the other day...there are so many things about this that I love.  His sweet innocence!  The chunky "michelin man arms".  The fact that he is sucking his thumb.  His sweet little belly.  How peaceful he is....THOSE CHEEKS!  I really can't believe how blessed I am....

These precious moments will fade quickly...Moments between brothers...the love and protection that Aiden shows for Easton.  The hugs, laughs, snuggles and silly faces!  I know that there will come a time when these laughs will turn to nagging little arguments but for now I cherish each and every beautiful moment between brothers

...even the questionable ones.

Summertime=pooltime....I am so proud of how far Aiden has come with his swimming!  My boy is fairly timid and to say that he is a fish in the water is a complete understatement!  This boy is obsessed with swimming!  Go Aiden Go!

I AM GOING TO MISS THIS MAN MORE THAN WORDS COULD EVER SAY...

The feelings that go along with deployment are tough...it's hard to enjoy these last few weeks together knowing that he will be leaving soon and will be gone for close to a year.  How do you enjoy a vacation that you are only taking because your husband is about to leave and travel into harms way????  I will miss him for so many reasons but everytime he comes home I am reminded that with or without kids...we still have it!  He still makes me laugh and I still get excited to see him!  I love him and need him not just for the help he gives me with the kids but also for the way he makes me feel about ME!!!!

Each of us has our own beliefs...I believe in the power of prayer...you may not!  Whatever you believe, may I ask a favor?  Please keep Aiden in your thoughts and/or prayers next week.  Right now we do not have a lot of details that we are ready to share but we are certainly praying for the best.  We will keep all of our loved ones updated once there is information to share but in the meantime just please pray for our sweet boy and for the best news possible during this stormy weather!

Happy Father's Day

We had an unconventional Father's Day considering Leif is out to sea and my dad has a weekly date with the golf course which I can not compete with...never have and never will be able to get him off the course!  So it was just me and the boys...ya know something a little different :-)

We got up early and checked out a new church, came home, made lunch, and spent over 3 hours at the pool! 

The best part of the day was a phone call from Leif.  It was so nice to hear his voice and to be able to wish him a Happy Fathers Day!  Although this is hard for us, I can't imagine how hard it is for him to have chosen such a selfless career, thrive at it, but ultimately have to sacrifice family time and memories for the sake of that career!  I can hear the stress, guilt, and worry in his voice and it breaks my heart!  He is such an amazing man and father.  He is supportive, helpful, thoughtful, and involved!  We are so blessed to have him and I am incredibly proud to be his wife!

BUT...yes, there is a "but"!  More and more I can see how this isn't for the weak!  I am incredibly sensitive and Unfortunately I have passed that on to Aiden!  Kids will be kids and they really don't understand but sometimes innocent observations can really hurt! 

Today at the pool a little boy said to Aiden "you can't go into the deep end because you don't have a daddy to go with you".  He obviously meant nothing by it, but it really got to me and I could see the light disappear from Aiden's face.  He was crushed!  Of course he has a daddy..in fact he has the best daddy ever!  I wanted to cry...for him, for me, for Leif, and even a little for the kid who has no idea how awesome Aiden's daddy is and really no idea how lucky he is to have his daddy in the deep end to catch him every day!

I did my best...I played Daddy in the deep end as often as I could!  I rocked Easton to sleep and caught Aiden as he jumped off the side...pushed "E" in the stroller and back into the pool with Aiden!  We had a really fun day and really made the most of a beautiful day...I may or may not have shed a few tears beneath my sunglasses...I'm only human!  I'm strong but sometimes very weak...I am all about life lessons but also torn between being real and being overprotective!  One of these days I will have more answers but right now I have a ton of questions and uncertainties!  One thing is for sure, my boys have am amazing daddy.  I pray that they are just like him when they get older...if my prayers are answered then all of the unanswered questions are worth it!

Veterans Day

I certainly hope today was a Thankful Veteran's Day for the people of this great nation!  I hope that through my blog I make it clear often just how grateful I am to those who have served and continue to serve our great country!  I say that not just because my husband is one of them, or because most of my friends spouses serve, or that my brother served, or my grandfather served but because I am pretty confident that I (and we) have it "made in the shade here" the grand old USA!!!  I fear the thought of a place where men and women no longer proudly and honorably choose to serve our country, yet are forced to do so unwillingly.  Whenever I get the comment "you knew what you were getting into", I immediately think of how much more selfish this country would be if people did not serve because "they knew what they were getting into".  Simply put...somebody has to do it and if someone doesn't chose to do it, then what????  So with that....THANK YOU to all who have and still do serve!  Me and my family sleep safe at night because you have chosen to stand the watch and sacrifice it all protecting this great nation!

(Thanks babe)

Thanks for the pic Tom

Thanks for the pic Andy

On a more personal level, I would be completely remiss if I did not say a huge Thank You to my fellow military spouses.  It is often a thankless job that no one can really understand except us.  When our spouses leave, everyone else's life goes on.  Ours, on the other hand, hangs in the breeze waiting for the littlest bit of communication!  Counting down the months, weeks, and days before we can hug our guy again!  People often only think of goodbyes and homecomings but rarely think of the months in between.  While pier side kisses and tears of excitement make for great pictures, the real story is how we handle the months with out our other half!  What they miss, what we miss, and more importantly what our children miss!

This past weekend I attended the baby shower of a wonderful Navy wife friend.  It is always such a great time to sit and "talk the talk" with people who really get it.  It is often a great reminder that although our husbands may be in and out, working long hours, or gone for the next 8-10 months we each get our chance to hold each other up or be the one being held!  While they serve abroad, we are serving at home (sometimes not as gracefully as we hope)!  Not an easy thing for others to understand but I am so thankful to be surrounded by so many who do!  Our "gripes" are a little different than most women but it is such a gift to have you ladies to "gripe" with!  I have met some of my best girlfriends through the secret sisterhood of being a Navy Wife and I find great pride in the friendships that we have built and the things I have learned from you ladies!

Some of our friends along the way...

Duty Days...

One of the (many) dreaded aspects of sea tours, aside from deployment and looooong hours, are duty days.  For those that aren't familiar, a duty day is basically a 24 hour shift at work.  Think of it this way, the military never "closes", it is not a 9-5 establishment and therefore it is not a 9-5 career.  Right now Leif has duty once a week.  Of course it has fallen on a weekend for the past 2 weeks, so Aiden and I have made the most of it by taking Daddy dinner on "his ship".  Aiden and I are still adjusting to not seeing very much of Daddy so it was incredibly exciting for Aiden to see where Daddy goes everyday.  My sweet boy has been so worried about his Daddy.  "Where does Daddy sleep on the ship?"  "Does Daddy get to eat on the ship?"  It seems like Daddy is missing so much right now so I was really anxious for Aiden to see just how important Daddy's job was.
Visiting Daddy for the first time...Aiden's very first visit to a war ship outside of my belly...

Quarterdeck photo

Daddy's picture...

Top Bunk...

Daddy giving Aiden a bullet shell!

In the CO's chair...

With the big 5 inch gun!

Hard at work...

Wearing Daddy's "radio"

Checking out the vertical launching system!

Aiden LOVES visiting Daddy's ship.  While Daddy was giving him a tour he said "WOW this is so cool" and when the tour was over he started to cry and said "But Daddy, I want to see everything".  I am so thankful that Leif isn't deployed right now.  I think that these visits to the ship will help Aiden "imagine" where Daddy is when he does deploy!
I think the cutest thing that Aiden has done so far is his adorable little salute.  The guard at the gate salutes me as I drive in and now Aiden has started saluting him back and saluting Daddy when he meets us at the truck...I have yet to get a picture of that...oh well, there is always next weeks duty day!

The "Made in America"

So much has happened since the last time that I blogged that it is really hard to decide where I should resume.  A lot of people have sent emails asking about how I am feeling since my surgery.  I promise to blog about my health next (I am feeling great by the way) but to be honest blogging about our housing adventures is much more exciting.  This weekend we took another trip to Hampton Roads to look for a home.  I arrived on Thursday to begin the hunt and Leif arrived late Friday to see my selections.  We have always wanted to live in a tight knit community often known as "Front Porch Living".  The idea is that rather than hanging out in your back yard you hang out on your front porch and build relationships with your neighbors.  Our Realtor told us about Culpepper Landing, a great neighborhood in Chesapeake, VA that seemed to be what we were looking for.  On our last trip we fell in love with a southern style home in the same amazing community but it was still under construction so we wanted to wait and see it finished. Once we arrived to see the home we were directed to another home which was being constructed for the Homearama.  What is Homearama?  Homearama is a 16-day single-site display of fully furnished and fully landscaped custom showcase homes 
that demonstrate the latest in home construction, design, furnishings and technological innovations. It is expected to attract 100,000 visitors throughout the event.  This years theme is The All American Homearama.  One of the homes was being built using only American made products.  We thought that was pretty cool but never in a million years did we expect to buy that house.  Well guess what???  We bought the Made in America house!  ( I guess I should say "we are buying", we close in July)  Here she is...

  
As much as I would love to say that the decision was easy, it really wasn't.  I went back and forth between this house and the original house we found back in March.  Leif didn't sweat it like I did.  The truth is, I LOVED both houses.  I knew I would be happy with either one and I think that made my decision even harder.  There was no cut and dry choice for me.  It was truly a unique situation.  How often do you have 4 days to find your perfect house, you find not 1 but 2 houses you love, they are in the same neighborhood, built by the same person, basically the same price and to top it off they are on the same street!!!  Leif left it up to me...how sweet of him...and after about 18 hours of "thinking" at 9:30 on Saturday morning while standing in line at Starbucks Leif said "make a decision right now" and I did!  The biggest deciding factor for me was the pride in owning The Made in America.  Knowing that every single item that constructed your home was Made in America is most likely a once in a lifetime opportunity...this is the only home of it's kind on the East Coast and 1 of only a handful in the whole Country.  The wood, wires, nails, drywall, tiles, harware, light fixtures etc...ALL Made in America!!!  Pretty Cool...Here are some pictures of the house right now.  Homearama is in 3 weeks so the house will be finished before then!  The builder is going to send me a virtual tour before the judging begins so we are very anxious to see the finished product. 

Great room from the stairs

Great room leading into kitchen

Kitchen...

Dining room with wet bar...side porch off dining room

Downstairs master shower

Aiden checking things out...

Downstairs master bath

One of the boxes laying around!

So excited for the future!

If you have nothing but time on your hands, here are a few links to articles and news stories about our house...
http://www.homearama.tv/
http://hamptonroads.com/2012/05/homearama-builder-goes-allamerican-materials
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/housing-ideas-create-jobs-16306281   (2:20 mark)
http://www.culpepperlanding.com/